dogtags hanging from the rearview..

But that flag and stone ain't where I feel you anyway...

If you have ever lost someone special to you, you know what I mean when I say: some days are just sad. There is nothing particular about them. Something as small as rain or a favorite song can trigger that gut-wrenching feeling that they aren't here anymore. It is a feeling deep in your stomach that cannot be explained, only felt. It hurts. And its hard to shake. But this whole "here-today-gone-tomorrow" notion comes over you where you suddenly embrace everything in life and begin to appreciate it all over again. I guess that could be a reason we experience loss of someone close to us.

you'd probably punch my arm right now, if you saw this tear roll down my face

Those of you that know me, know that I am no stranger to having sad days. They aren't all the time, but when they are... I miss Garic. There are some days that it is all I can think about. The impact he had on my life, the beauty he brought just by knowing him for so many years. He was so full of life. Most know the story of how Patrick and I met, but it is because of him that I am marrying such a wonderful man. It is hard. And most days, I don't have the words to express. It is just silence. I hear a song, and then the tears come. He is probably laughing at me right this moment for even writing this. Saying, don't talk about it, be about it. He was always encouraging those around him to make the most out of life.

I remember the days we spent together,
were not enough, it used to feel like dreaming
Except we always woke up,
Never thought not having you here now
Would hurt so much

I will never forget sitting there the night before he passed away, just talking and laughing with him. I can tell you every detail about that moment. And I will never forget getting that call at work the next day.

101 in 1001

I have been consistently trying to combat the "New Year's Resolution" concept. Personally, I think you should always have goals. The idea of marking something as accomplished is probably one of the best feelings. For those that know me well, know that I am a to-do list, post it note queen. However, I wanted to really challenge myself to do something that would require constant effort and improvement. Not only would it challenge me, but also make me constantly aware of what I am doing. So, after searching high and low... I came across something on (of course) Pinterest called 101 in 1001. This is 101 things that I must do in 1001 days. It doesn't nececssarily have to be over-the-moon complicated.. just something that you have said "ya know, I  have ALWAYS wanted to do that." So it may take me awhile to create my list.. here goes nothing!


Here is an example.

Sentimental you and faithful me

This weekend I met with my videographer with my MOH. After asking him all sorts of questions and really getting the details on our weddings... (he is doing hers too) we left Starbucks and headed home. I realized how special this time is. We will never be planning our weddings at the same time again. This is it. And I get to share this experience with my best friends. It is so much more than Pinterest and Planning. It is sharing ideas, laughs, and sometimes really stressful moments with those closest to me. Now- I must remember this when I am ready to pull my hair out :)

One thing, before I graduate

I realized while listening to Imagine Dragons Pandora -amazing, btw- That this will be the (cue typical statement) " LAST first day of school I will EVER have".... Um, weird. I am so ready for this semester!! I want to savor the moments I have with the people in my major and the friends I have made while being here for 4  5 years at WKU. Though one goal this semester to wish the days away, I cannot wait to start a career! I think it makes all this even more worthwhile. So, let the job hunt, stressful exams/projects/papers, interviews come! 

"One thing, before I graduate
Never let your fear decide your fate."

Can't Go Wrong...

Well, a new year brings many things. There will be some amazing times shared this year; there will also be some really tough times. I am honestly excited about them both. Going with the "10 things" theme again this Tuesday... Here are the ten things I am most excited about this year. 

1. Our ( Patrick & I) Wedding!!

2. Bailey's Wedding (SO EXCITED)

3. All of B's fun and exciting wedding events. I can't put into words how special it is to me that I get to be a part of her big day. I simply cannot imagine what the past 16 years would have been like without her in my life.

4. I graduate. WHOA.

5. I turn 23. Ok, I may not be THAT excited about that, but still a milestone, right?

6. Spending time with all of my bridesmaids. I am so blessed to have such wonderful girls in my life. 

Bailey, Caroline, Kylah, Amy, Andrea, and Jess- you guys rock. 

7. Taking a vacay aka honeymoon

8. Patrick graduates!!!

9. 4th of July. My favorite holiday besides Christmas.

10. All of the wonderful people that I am going to spend time with and learn from...

  I just can't go wrong...