Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone! Blogging most definitely has taken a back burner to life lately. I have an almost 5 month old. WHAT the WHAT?! I am not sure where the past few months have gone, but time has never been longer, shorter, more full of laughter and tears and anxiety and fun. If you have a child, I am sure you can relate. I decided I am going to be posting (maybe not all at once...) about what I have experienced over the past few months and what I have learned. There is a lot of TMI, so may want to skip if that freaks you out! This post will be full of my experiences, with a dash of sarcastic humor. Some times, you just have to laugh. There is a list of a thousand things you will "never do with your baby" and as soon as they hold that baby in your arms, that list goes flying out the window.
1. Labor
Labor is painful. I know everyone has a different experience. The physical aspect of labor and recovery went really, really well for me. It was quick, and relatively easy (as easy as labor can be, haha!). The mesh panties, pain spray, tucks pads were all a God-send. Hoard that crap. Seriously. Put some in your hospital bag that you oh so meticulously packed (and in my case, didn't use 3/4 of what was in it) and ask for more each nurse shift change. Trust me on this one. We went home with like a full set of all of it. I still have some left over! Take the stool softener. I know, not something you want to hear about, but trust me on that one too. It doesn't have to be as terrifying as everyone makes it out to be. The emotional aspect was hard. The 2-3 weeks after labor are full of haywire hormones. I cried a lot. Some times, without prompting. I will never forget sitting on the couch, in Patrick's arms (I am not a cuddly person.. its just not my love language), literally sobbing because I was so overwhelmed and exhausted and failing my baby in every way. That is okay. Time will pass, and you will balance out to just one good cry a day, and eventually once a week. I kid I kid.
** In all seriousness, these hormones are very real and very much out of your control. Post partum depression is real, and not a joking matter whatsoever, so if you are feeling those feelings... please seek help. Don't let your mental health be defined by a survey at the drs office.
2. Breastfeeding
If you would have told me in July that I would be breastfeeding at 4.5 months, I would have laughed in your face. It was something I wanted to attempt, but wasn't going to stress about if it didn't work. Honestly, I wasn't sure how I would do with the whole concept... again not a cuddly person. It kind of weirded me out. Just keeping it real over here. Well, my milk came in the day we got home, and has been overloading me ever since. BF has actually been something that I have "enjoyed." If that's even the right word?!!! Haha! Kudos to ALL mama's that feed their babies in whatever way they choose. This stuff is HARD. Back to BF, the first 3 weeks were MISERABLE. I have never hurt so much and dreaded something that much in my life. I wanted to quit every time it was time for him to eat. Which if you have had a newborn, it's ROUND the CLOCK! But, I had so much milk that I couldn't bear to stop because it hurt. I knew the hurt would go away, and it did. So, my unsolicited advice, how ever you choose to feed your sweet little one, do it with confidence and peace.
Side note... Warren has silent reflux. So if they are screaming more than you feel like they should be.. try cutting out dairy. I wish my pediatrician had suggested that at 3 weeks instead of acid reflux meds, because at 12 weeks, when I finally cut it out, I had a completely different baby.
3. Trust yourself.
No matter how prepared I thought I was, I wasn't. Like, I WAS NOT! And that is okay. Nothing can prepare you for the emotions, the anxiety, the fear, the overwhelming joy. Your instincts will develop. Don't let any one or anything make you question yourself. You are a great mom, or you are going to be a great mom. Don't feel like you constantly need to justify your choices. Yes, I just said all that to myself, because I need to hear it daily.
4. Schedule
L.O.L. Can I just laugh for a minute?!! I read baby wise before I had him. And I had this schedule all laid out. I stressed myself out so much because he wasn't on a schedule and wouldn't nap more than 30 minutes for 3 months. I cried. A lot. If he did sleep longer than 30 min, it was on my chest. (Which I am not complaining about) If I could go back and change anything, it would be to tell my type A strong willed self to stop the immense worrying about THAT. Breathe. Just let it go. It will click eventually, and it did. Just because your baby isn't doing what some book said he should be doing, does not mean you are a failure. The day I let the idea of a schedule go, life got so much better. We now have a routine, which he rocks at, and he is so so so happy (thanks to no dairy, ha!). This may not apply to anyone but me, but I put so much pressure on myself and I shouldn't have. We just put so much pressure on ourselves to get everything "right," that we forget they are just babies... they will get it eventually.
5. Love
It is okay if you don't feel this immense "so in love, over the moon" love at first. It is okay if you do. But, if you don't, you will. And your baby will. You are new to each other. You have to learn each other. And when you do, oh man. There is no greater feeling in the world. I am given a glimpse of the love that the Father has for us, and my oh my, is it immense.
Lastly, the best piece of advice I was given, and the only unsolicited advice I give to any pregnant friends (unless you ask, then I rattle away hahaha)..... Do what gives you the most peace. If it's BF or formula, Cry It Out or cuddle, co sleep or crib day one, organic or not, whatever.... just have confidence in YOUR family's choices, and don't let anyone make you feel shame or failure! Don't let anyone fool you, we're all winging it...
