A child of Mercy and Grace

There has been a lot on my mind and heart this weekend. A quick fact about me: I expect a lot, I mean A LOT, from the people I care about. Don't confuse this with expecting material things, but more or less inner things. I expect my friends to be my friends. That is all. So, when a friend out right lies to me about plans they have on a very important weekend for me, and then posts it all over social media... I kinda get "over it." And, when I am over it, as I have stated before, I just don't care anymore- I push them away so I can have time to not be angry. I am working on that. It hurt, a lot. To be honest, I am still mad about it. So, on my run this morning God and I did our usual conversation. He kept trying to tell me something, but I didn't want to listen. (per usual, right?!) Anyways, I get in the car, turn on my fave radio show aka the Bobby Bones show. What are they talking about?! (Cue God-smack in the face) Leaving a legacy. Exactly what I was just fighting with God about on my 4 mile run.

You see, God has been humbling me through this running experience. He has been teaching me that it isn't about me, my abilities, or what I can do. It is about the strength and tools He is giving me every day to do what I thought was impossible. SO, with that being said. God was telling me this morning that I need to stop letting friends disappoint me. They are human, and they are selfish. End of story. Now, I am not knocking my friends, .. It is true about every human being, including myself. You expect a lot, and then you are disappointed. I know I am guilty of letting a friend down a time or two.

Back to leaving a legacy: When I am so focused on being mad and hurt that someone lied to me, or whatever they did "wrong" to me, I am not focusing on myself. By that I mean, I am not focused on being the person God has called me to be. He hasn't called me to be mad, angry, bitter, etc. He has called me to use what He has given me for His glory. I can't do that when I am subtweeting about how pissed I am. I want to leave a legacy that isn't influenced by how I responded when a friend lied to me.

I think this song sums up my ramblings best:

But in the end I'd like to hang my hat on more besides
The temporary trappings of this world
I want to leave a legacy
How will they remember me?
Did I choose to love? Did I point to You enough
To make a mark on things?
I want to leave an offering
A child of mercy and grace who
blessed your name unapologetically
And leave that kind of legacy