dogtags hanging from the rearview..

But that flag and stone ain't where I feel you anyway...

If you have ever lost someone special to you, you know what I mean when I say: some days are just sad. There is nothing particular about them. Something as small as rain or a favorite song can trigger that gut-wrenching feeling that they aren't here anymore. It is a feeling deep in your stomach that cannot be explained, only felt. It hurts. And its hard to shake. But this whole "here-today-gone-tomorrow" notion comes over you where you suddenly embrace everything in life and begin to appreciate it all over again. I guess that could be a reason we experience loss of someone close to us.

you'd probably punch my arm right now, if you saw this tear roll down my face

Those of you that know me, know that I am no stranger to having sad days. They aren't all the time, but when they are... I miss Garic. There are some days that it is all I can think about. The impact he had on my life, the beauty he brought just by knowing him for so many years. He was so full of life. Most know the story of how Patrick and I met, but it is because of him that I am marrying such a wonderful man. It is hard. And most days, I don't have the words to express. It is just silence. I hear a song, and then the tears come. He is probably laughing at me right this moment for even writing this. Saying, don't talk about it, be about it. He was always encouraging those around him to make the most out of life.

I remember the days we spent together,
were not enough, it used to feel like dreaming
Except we always woke up,
Never thought not having you here now
Would hurt so much

I will never forget sitting there the night before he passed away, just talking and laughing with him. I can tell you every detail about that moment. And I will never forget getting that call at work the next day.