Let's start with Thursday, August 6th. That evening my mom jokingly brought over a friends "birthing ball" (I still find that so funny-- it is literally an exercise ball-- she said she went into labor the day after using it). For those that have been pregnant, you try all sorts of silly things. I only tried the ball and walking. Nothing too crazy. I knew he would come when he was ready. I sat on the ball for maybe 10 minutes that night. Nothing. Crickets. Friday August 7th rolls around. I sat on it again for about 10 more minutes. It was weird rolling around on it, but it actually felt good to stretch. I proceeded to take Lila on a 2 mile walk. I was exhausted. Fast forward to around 2 pm. I went to the bathroom, and there was a faint amount of blood. *repeats over and over "this is normal. do not panic."*
So naturally, I do what any sane 9 month pregnant woman would do. I googled it. Yep, normal. But "call doctor if worsens." Um, okay? So I call Morgan, my aunt. She didn't experience it. Okay.... don't panic. I talked with her on the phone for about an hour. I started cramping while on the phone. Man, I did not miss menstrual cramps. They were fairly intense, but I wasn't taken back by them. I decided to get in the shower, because I knew I needed to desperately wash my hair and it may make me feel better. Nope. They were getting worse. So, I call the doctor. Thankfully, my doctor was the on call doctor. He told me I was having contractions, and that if they or the bleeding got worse/5 min apart, come on in.
I did my hair, which was pointless because it was in a pony tail the entire time, but at least it smelled clean. Anyways, I texted Pat and told him: "Hey, I think I may be in labor... but no worries you've got lots of time... I just think it's starting... Do not speed." He immediately responds, "IM 20 AWAY!" Oh, bless his caring heart. The contractions were 100 kinds of AWFUL. I couldn't hardly eat dinner they hurt so bad. They started about 10 min apart, lasting for 20 seconds. At this point, they were about 45 sec long. I went to take a bath. Nope, didn't help. So, we get in bed, and around 11 I just can't take it anymore. I take another bath. As soon as I get in, I realize something isn't right. So I immediately got out. I woke Patrick up, and said we need to go. We get to the hospital at midnight. Apparently, my doctor had stopped by on rounds and told them to be expecting me. I love him.
They have to do 3258352 things before they decide if they are going to admit you or send you home. They checked me to see if I was dilated, I was only at 2. Ouch. They admit you at 4. I am not going home. They check to see if my water has broken, which I told them it hadn't. Apparently it had. And I missed it. Do you know how disappointed I was?! It was not like the gush of fluid they say. I know some experience that, but I did not. They took my blood, prepped me for the epidural, and it was hurry up and wait time.
I dilated a cm each hour. Around 3 the baby's heart rate/DCells dropped dramatically. My doctor stayed at the hospital and monitored his heart rate the entire labor process. He's awesome. It was scary. They dropped two or three more times, and he was talking to me about a possible c section. I lost it. I couldn't stop crying. Not that there is ANY THING wrong with a c-section, I seriously did not want surgery. I had about 10 minutes to come to peace with it, and if it was what kept him safest, that is what we would do. My doctor is a very patient man. So we waited, and everything was progressing great. No C Section. Around 7 am they came in to check me, said it was time to start practice pushing. Real pushing began at 810, and Warren Christopher was born at 9:39.
His first month home has been an adventure. I have never felt more emotions than during those first two weeks. From absolute joy to complete anxiety. Those two weeks were the hardest two weeks of my life. I had no clue what I was doing [let's be honest, I still don't lol], and my baby was hysterical. I mean at times, the screams were enough to bring you to your knees. It was hard, and you feel so unbelievably helpless. Breastfeeding was miserable. Yes, I said it. It was going great in the hospital, but when my milk came in [and my gracious it came in with vengeance!], it's like he had no clue how to latch anymore. It was the hardest thing not to just say screw it, forget this. But, with the help of a lactation consultant, we made it work. He would only sleep on my chest. Okay, so I am not saying that last part is bad at all. I kind of miss those newborn snuggles... a lot!! And then, just when you feel so helpless, your son pees on the couch and all over your mom's hair mid diaper change. And you laugh. And laugh. And laugh some more. And then, at 3 AM when your mom is handing you the clean diaper, you change it. She asks for the dirty diaper that you SWEAR you just gave her. And then you both realize that you taped the dirty diaper tab to the clean diaper. And you laugh and laugh and laugh some more.
But, I say all that to say, they made me stronger. I think all mom's go through that. At least that's what I am telling myself. Those two weeks gave me the confidence that if I can handle all of that not knowing anything, I've got this. I can do it. It doesn't necessarily get easier, but you get better. And you just have to laugh along the way. [I read this article the other day, tears streamed through the entire thing. All I can say is, YES. http://community.today.com/parentingteam/post/it-wont-get-better]
This sweet boy has stolen our hearts. I never knew I could love someone so much. I know that is so cliche, but it is SO true. He makes us laugh constantly. He is amazing us every day with the things he can do, and the way he is changing.
