In a world so utterly consumed with people focused on the "next step," this article from RelevantMagazine.com really hits home. No two of my closest friends are in the same "spot." We are all around the same age, but so very different. I am an engaged, recent college grad turned new career maker slash getting married in ten days (whew!). One of my best friends is recently married studying so hard to become a teacher- which she will be perfect at. Another one of my best friends is single, new loft owner, and just landed a new job in which I hope she shines. I could go on and on about different friends and where they are at in life. But do any of those things define them or myself? Do any of those "moments" make them any less or any more than someone else? No! That is the beauty (and sometimes struggle) of friendships at this age. You can all be at different points in your life, but one thing is for certain... you can truly relate to each one of these points, and I know that is something we all have in common.
Author Debra Fileta, of Relevant Magazine, writes:
I’ve had the chance to reflect on the past 10 years of my life, and I
realized there are many things I know at 30 that I didn’t know at 20.
1. Time is limited, so invest it in things that matter.
I remember the days of wasting my time away on meaningless things. Now
that I’m older, I see that my time is valuable and limited.
2. Say no to one-way friendships.
Not only is it important to use your time wisely, it’s crucial to spend
it with people that care. So much of our time is wasted on superficial
friendships and obligations. Invest in people who are worth investing
in.
3. It doesn’t matter what people think of you, and you can’t please everyone.
Often, your twenties are defined by living a roller coaster life,
allowing the choices and decisions of others affect you rather than
taking control of your own life. It’s sad to say that so many years are
spent defining yourself by others, instead of for the sake of who God
has called you to be.
4. Life is more expensive than you think it is.
This life lesson isn’t fun. But it’s amazing how much $100 seems to a
20-year-old, and how little it seems to a 30-year-old. As you get older,
you learn to really see the value of money and how to spend and use it
wisely.
5. Being healthy matters. You realize
you’re no longer invincible when the aches and pains begin to slowly
creep into your life. And it only gets worse—or so I hear. Learn to
appreciate your health, and to be more proactive about taking it
seriously.
6. Joy can come from unexpected places.
So many things that may have never seemed fun in my younger years have
taken on a whole new meaning. As life gets more complicated, you learn
to take more joy in the simple things.
7. You should value your parents. You will make the same mistakes as they did.
The older you get, the more you realize your own flaws, and it helps
you have grace for the flaws of others. We’ve all gotten to that moment
where we realize that in so many ways we are just like our parents.
8. You’re not stuck. By
God’s grace, you get to choose how you will live. You don’t have to
repeat patterns, and you’re not paralyzed to a certain mold.
9. Your decisions affect more people than just yourself.
There’s a ripple effect, and it gets clearer with each passing year.
When you’re young and single, this can sometimes be hard to see, but as
you grow up, you cease to be on center stage and you see that life is
all about the big picture, and you are a small but important piece in
it.
10. Your words have a lot of power, so be careful what you say. From
writing a blog post to saying a kind word, from a thoughtless comment
to a negative remark, I’ve seen first hand how powerful words can be.
They can build up and they can destroy. You learn to be more careful
with how you use the words you have been given. They have the power to
change lives.
11. Forgiveness is worth the hard work. More
than ever, you see how much an unforgiving spirit impacts your life in a
negative way, and how letting go has so much more to do with you than
with others.
12. Success in life means so much more than what you thought it would.
My definition of success has drastically changed for the better. My
friendships, family and faith have taken on a whole new meaning within
the definition of success. God has changed my heart over the years, and
with it, what I define as my treasures.
13. Worry doesn’t really change your future.
I wish I could have learned this way sooner, and wish I could prevent
relapses. But by God’s grace, I want to continue to walk with more faith
than fear.
14. There’s so much more to your identity than you ever imagined. Physical
appearance is a small fraction of who you are. Hopefully this is
something you learned early on, because as you learn to accept your body
and your appearance you find there is so much freedom in that. And
along those lines, gray hairs aren’t so bad after all. They’re actually
kind of cute, once you get used to them. Well, we’ll see how we feel
about that by 40.
15. You’ve made a lot of mistakes, and you will make many more. But you learn to forgive yourself and move on.
16. Life doesn’t always turn out how you expect.
But it still turns out just right. I know so many things have not
happened on my time frame nor in the way I expected them to. But looking
back, God’s time frame was so much better than mine. I’m learning to
trust that He is good and that He really knows best.
Life doesn’t always turn out how you expect. But it still turns out just right.
17. Those doors closed for a reason.
I look back at the failures and disappointments in my life now, and I
am so thankful for those closed doors and broken roads. God knew then
what I know now. And I’m so glad He did.
18. God is bigger than you could have ever imagined. And I’m so thankful He is.
19. Wisdom is really a gift from God. And something that you have to ask for now just as much as ever.
20. There is still so much to learn.
I have learned so much about myself over the past few years, and I’ve
learned that there’s so much more to be learned. Like the old saying
goes, the more you know, the more you know you don’t know.
